"Mummy
in the Maze"
Episode 3x05
Written By: Scott Williams
Directed by: Marita Grabiak
Transcribed by xxblackxsatinxx
---
Disclaimer: The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned
by Hart Hanson, all rights reserved. This transcript is not authorized or
endorsed by Hart Hanson or Fox.
---
Ext.
roadside halloween maze - day
It's Halloween, and many kids have
gathered around this maze dressed up in an assortment of costumes. The camera
pans around a number of people as the host exclaims the rules of the game.
host
Come, my brave children, to the
hideous Halloween maze. Avoid the creepies and the crawlies that live in every
dark corner of the maze. And the first one to reach the centre and emerge alive
will win the grand prize. AHA!
A pistol
is shot, declaring the beginning of the race, as the children break through the
starting line and push past each other into the maze.
The maze
is covered with traps and dead ends. As the kids run around, the camera follows
one boy, MATTY, a heavy-set boy dressed as a fuzzy bear. Matty is clearly lost
and frightened as he runs around aimlessly in the maze. Matty comes across the
hanging skeleton, scared by it turns in the other direction. Matty runs into
the large witch at the intersection and he turns, once more, scared. Through
the tunnels of the maze, you can see other children running about, trying to
get to the centre. Matty whimpers and looks around, scared.
Matty
Where am I?
Matty
looks down one of the pathways of the maze, and there sits a skeleton in an
electric chair indicating a dead end.
A woman
dressed in a cat costume lunges out at Matty and scares him. Matty stands in
front of the large black witch.
Matty
(CONT'D)
I'm lost! Somebody help me!
Matty
begins to run. A GRIM REAPER jumps out at Matty. Matty screams and begins to
run again. Matty runs passed the noose. The bottom half of a hanging mummy can
be seen quickly.
Matty
comes face to face with the mummy.
CLOSE ON
The
mummy's face. A spider crawls out of the eye socket.
BACK TO
SCENE
Matty
begins screaming. The spider falls on his nose. Matty faints.
Ext.
Halloween maze - night
The maze is all lit up with hanging
ornament lights. Sirens wail in the background, as witnesses are being
interviewed.
DR.
POTOSKA leads BRENNAN and BOOTH into the maze.
Potoska
Right this way, miss.
Booth
admires the costumes.
Booth
Now, that's an excellent costume.
What are you wearing?
Brennan
What? Now?
Booth
No, not now. At the Jeffersonian's Halloween Ball.
Int.
halloween maze - night
Booth
and Brennan followed Dr. Potoska.
Brennan
What I always wear. Are you going this year?
Booth
I'm the official unofficial FBI
liaison to the Jeffersonian. Of course I'm going.
Dr.
Potoska notes the wolfman. Potoska walkies another officer.
Potoska
We just passed the wolfman.
Deputy (o.s.)
Go straight towards the guillotine and veer left.
Potoska
turns to look at Booth and Brennan.
Potoska
It's a maze. What can I do?
Booth,
Brennan and Potoska continue through the maze.
Brennan
Dr. Potoska, how were the remains discovered?
Potoska
A kid passed out.
Brennan
What killed him?
Potoska
Oh, the kid didn't die. He just fainted.
Brennan
Then why am I here?
They
walk past a hanging skeleton.
Potoska
Well, when Matty fainted, I was here with my own kids. I'm a
pediatrician, but I'm also the coroner.
Booth
Small town.
They
continue to walk through the maze. As Potoska begins, and continues to talk,
Booth gets separated momentarily from Brennan and Potoska.
Potoska
Yeah, well, Matty revived
easily enough. Uh, he's what you call a
nervous-type kid. But then I saw what it
was that made him faint in the first place and I almost fainted too, because it
was a mummy, which I told the
sheriff, who called the FBI, who called
the Jeffersonian. And now here we are,
lost in this stupid maze looking for the mummy.
Booth
reappears and joins Brennan and Potoska.
Booth
A mummy?
Potoska
(in walkie)
Yeah, I do not see a guillotine.
Potoska
looks at a scarecrow wearing a cowboy hat.
Potoska (CONT'D)
What would you call that?
Brennan
A cowboy?
Booth
No, it's a scarecrow.
Deputy (o.S.)
Look, just keep turning to the right, all right? Let me know when you reach the dragon.
The trio
turn, and are greeted by a red and green monkey face with big white teeth.
Potoska
(to walkie)
Dead end, with teeth.
Deputy (o.S.)
That's because you turned left at the globin. You were supposed to turn
right.
Potoska
turns around.
Booth
Look, when you say a
mummy? You mean... ?
Potoska
Wrapped in bandages, curse of King Tut.
You know, a mummy.
BRENNAN
No offense, but I'm not
certain a pediatrician is qualified.
POTOSKA
Pediatrician AND coroner. See that? Yeah.
They
stand in front of the electric chair.
POTOSKA (CONT'D)
(in walkie)
Okay, we are at the electric chair.
DEPUTY
There's an electric chair?
BOOTH
Look, just tell the guy to throw his flashlight up in the air, will ya?
POTOSKA
The FBI requests that
you toss your flashlight into the air.
The
DEPUTY is with the mummy.
DEPUTY
Ten-four.
The
Deputy tosses his flashlight into the air. Booth sees it.
BOOTH
Ah! There it is.
POTOSKA
Oh, let's see if we can get there this way.
Potoska
begins to walk in the opposite direction. Brennan follows him. Booth stops them
both.
BOOTH
Guys?
They
stop to turn and look at him. Booth turns around and knocks down the haystack
wall. The Deputy stands on the other side of the now fallen wall. The Deputy
stands next to the mummy. Booth climbs over the fallen hay bundles.
POTOSKA
(to Brennan)
After you.
Booth
stumbles on the bales of hay, regains his balance and breaths in. He looks up and sees the mummy.
BOOTH
Oh!
Brennan
and Potoska follow Booth and climb over the fallen hay bundles
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
What do you think, Bones?
Brennan
examines at the mummy.
BRENNAN
Well, ocular contents dry, ramus collapsed, leathery skin. These are
actual human remains.
POTOSKA
A mummy.
BRENNAN
How long will it take to get out of this maze?
BOOTH
Not as long as you might think.
Booth
takes out his car keys and holds them up. Booth presses a button and his car
alarm chirps. Booth turns around and knocks down the nearby hay wall. Booth's
SUV is right on the opposite side of the now demolished wall. Booth climbs over
the fallen hay bundlers and looks back to Brennan and lifts his arms with a
look on his face that says 'it was that easy.'
End of teaser
Act I
INT.
MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / EXAMINATION TABLE
HODGINS,
currently offscreen, is also on the platform.
It takes a steady flow of dry air over a long period of time to achieve
this kind of desiccated mummification.
ZACK
The Incan Ice Woman of Peru, the
Zack
turns to look at the x-rays up on the screen.
HODGINS
sits at a desk, his feet up, and a pumpkin full of candy in his lap. Hodgins is
sucking on a lollipop.
Hodgins
How old are we talking?
Zack
Buttons, zipper, rivets. She's probably wearing jeans.
Hodgins
So, freakazoid murder-mummification rather than fascinating history?
She?
Zack
Shape of the innominate bone indicates female.
Now listen, boys. The
Jeffersonian Halloween party, it's compulsory. Donors, patrons, angels,
benefactors. So we all show up in
costume and do our duty.
Hodgins
is about to say something but
I don't want any argument on this.
Zack
I will be the back end of a cow.
Hodgins
So, now costume?
Zack
Naomi, from Paleontology,
has agreed to be my front.
Hodgins
Oh, so many jokes, so little time.
Hodgins (CONT'D)
It's fine. We're all in. I'll be Edward John Smith for Halloween.
Zack
Ill-fated captain of the Titanic.
What about Angela and Brennan?
Zack
Dr. Brennan always wears the same costume to this things. She loves it.
Help me remove these.
Hodgins
What's with the smell?
Cedar oil?
Zack
Also used in mummification.
What about this clear coating over the skin?
Hodgins
Lacquer?
She was painted to death?
HODGINS
The clothing came from a church-run thrift store.
How could you possibly know that?
ZACK
There is no bug or slime specific to church thrift stores.
HODGINS
You don't know that. I'm the bug
and slime guy. You're just the
auxiliary bone guy who dresses up
like the back end of a cow.
Hodgins?
Hodgins
sighs, and rips off the label on the clothing and holds it up for
Free Church of
Zack
I knew it wasn't bugs or slime.
Hodgins
No, you didn't! And that's what makes me, King of the Lab!
Hodgins (CONT'D)
A loyal servant of the Empress.
Hodgins
nods respectively towards
Zack
looks from
Int.
Free
Booth
and Brennan walk among the clothing racks at the thrift store while talking
with PASTOR BILL JONAS.
PASTOR
Clothes from this ministry were found on a dead body? Well,
I'm afraid that happens fairly often.
BRENNAN
Why?
PASTOR
Because we're a charitable congregation.
Homeless people
know that we'll provide them with what they need.
Pastor
Jonas puts down the painting he was carrying as Brennan opens the case file and
shows him photographs.
Brennan
Do you, by any chance, remember these specific pieces of clothing?
Pastor
This is from your murder victim?
Brennan
(nods)
Mm-hmm.
A
TEENAGE BOY wearing a long black trench coat interrupts them.
Boy
Jonas? Do you have anything like this in red?
Pastor
You're looking for something that screams "Satan," right?
Boy
Basically.
Pastor
I think we have a pink cape in the back.
Maybe we can dye it.
The boy
leaves.
Booth
What kind of church dresses kids like Satanists?
Pastor
Let me show you. At Halloween we
do a Hell House. Fornication, theft, murder, gambling, usury, sodomy, abortion.
The
pastor shows them a miniature of the Hell House.
Brennan
It's kind of horrific, isn't it?
Pastor
Well, abandoning the path of righteousness is horrific, Dr.
Brennan. This is our way of remaking a
pagan holiday, Halloween, into a positive celebration of Christian values.
(to girl) )
Excellent prostitute, Stephanie.
A GIRL,
dressed provocatively, walks by them and smiles.
Stephanie
Hey.
Booth
Anyone ever dress like a mummy?
Pastor
We've never featured a "false idol" room, though, now that
you mention it, it's not a bad
idea.
Brennan
Ancient Egyptian religious beliefs endured for almost 4,000 years, twice
the length of Christianity.
Booth
Look, any of your kids suddenly disappear?
Pastor
No.
Brennan
What if the children that you save from abortion grow up to be usurers
and sodomites?
Pastor
I don't respond to mocking semantics, Dr. Brennan.
Booth
Nor do I, but she's serious.
Pastor
In that case, my serious answer would be that in being given a chance to
live a life, the aborted soul will have a multitude of opportunities to repent
for their sins and live bathed in the Holy Spirit.
Brennan
nods.
Brennan
Thank you.
Booth
(surprised)
Thank you?
Brennan
looks to Booth.
Pastor (O.s.)
You're welcome.
Int.
Royal diner - day
ANGELA
and Hodgins sit across the table from a red-headed woman named AMBER KIPPLER.
Amber
My name is Amber Kippler. I'm a
senior investigator with Doyley
Private Investigations.
Hodgins
Mr. Doyley assured me he'd be taking a personal interest in the search
for Ms.
Amber
Interest, yes. But I'll be doing
the actual footwork. Mr. Doyley is
taking a very personal interest, only not from up close.
Angela
Do you have a lot of
experience at this kind of work?
Amber
Angela Montenegro is not your birth name. You changed your name on your 18th birthday
because it came to you in a dream.
Angela's
jaw drops.
Angela
Um...
Hodgins'
eyes widen as he looks at Angela.
Hodgins
You never told me that.
Angela
I never told anybody that.
Amber
If I can discover something nobody knew about a client I'm not being
paid to investigate, imagine what I can do for real.
Hodgins
Good point.
Angela
(insisting)
I never told anybody about that.
Amber
Yes, you did, actually. A girl
named Roxie whose heart you broke in second year art school.
Angela
Oh...
(smiles)
Roxie.
Angela
chuckles.
Hodgins
Wow!
(to Amber)
What do you know about me?
Amber
Wouldn't it be better if we got to Ms. Montenegro's husband,
Grayson "Birimbau" Barasa?
Hodgins
You found something?
Amber
I found the actual human man—in Florida, in the Keys. No
Name Key, very remote.
Angela
Did you talk to him?
Amber
Absolutely not.
Hodgins
Why?
Amber
My instructions were to locate.
That being achieved, we can now discuss contact.
Hodgins
We want you to contact him.
Angela
And get him to sign the divorce papers.
Amber
By "get him" do you mean...
Amber
looks at Hodgins and Angela. Angela and Hodgins look at her as if insisting the
rest of the sentence.
Amber
(CONT'D)
...force him to sign them?
Hodgins
If necessary, do you have a gun?
Angela
Or just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
Hodgins
What are you? Canadian?
Amber
We'll do this one step at a time.
Ext.
road - day
Booth's
SUV is cruising down the road.
Booth (O.S.)
Didn't that pastor guy make you mad?
Brennan
No.
INT.
BOOTH'S SUV - day
Booth
He's a fundamentalist.
Brennan
I appreciate consistency.
Booth
Oh what, the consistency of trying to scare kids into Christianity?
Brennan
How do we keep kids from smoking? We tell them it gives them cancer.
Booth
It does give them cancer.
Brennan
According to science.
Booth
You know, that's all you care about
is science.
Brennan
In the end, even someone who believes in empiricism and science has to
take a leap of faith.
Booth
What?
Brennan
I believe in what I can hear, taste, see, touch and measure. You believe in what you feel. Pastor Jonas believes that God speaks to him
through a sacred book.
Booth's
cell phone rings.
Booth
Yeah, well, I feel like we're on the wrong side of the argument here.
Booth
checks his phone.
Booth
(CONT'D)
Oh, it's Cam.
Booth
puts Cam on speakerphone.
Booth
(CONT'D)
(to Cam)
What's up?
Cam
(O.S.)
I really need you to come back.
Int.
Medico-legal lab / outside brennan's office - day
Cam is
on the phone and walking.
Cam
I got a couple here, says they think the mummy in the maze is
their daughter.
Booth
Oh, that'd save us some time on identification.
Cam
Their daughter only disappeared last week.
Brennan
The remains we found were at least a year old.
Cam
Look, I'm great with corpses, but when it comes to loved ones, let's
just say there's a reason why I'm not a pediatrician. So if you got a siren, turn it on.
Booth
Right.
Booth
hangs up.
Cam
turns around to look at the couple in Brennan's office.
Int.
Medico-legal lab / Brennan's Office - day
Booth
and Brennan are talking to Megan Shaw's parents, DON SHAW and MARGIE SHAW.
CLOSE ON
Photo of
a red-haired teenager.
DON
SHAW (o.S.)
Megan is fourteen. She didn't run away.
Margie shaw (O.s.)
Something terrible happened.
Booth
She's a very pretty girl.
Brennan
What makes you think the remains we found are your daughter?
Margie SHAW
The news said that you found the body of a teenage girl in a fun
house. I suddenly knew it was
Megan.
Brennan
Suddenly knew?
Booth
Mr. and Mrs. Shaw, it wasn't a fun house. It was a maze.
Brennan
And the remains we found are more than a year old.
MargIE SHAW
You're certain?
Brennan
Yes.
Don
shaw
Oh, I see.
Angela
knocks on the glass pane, gesturing that she wishes to talk with Booth.
Booth
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Brennan
I don't understand why you're disappointed. Your daughter might still be
alive.
Margie shaw
(her voice breaking)
Megan is not still alive.
Angela
hands Booth the sketch.
Brennan
How are you so certain?
Margie shaw
I just am. I can't explain it.
I'm her mother.
Booth
takes a seat next to Margie and Don. Booth shows them Angela's sketch.
Booth
I'm sorry. Does this face mean anything to you?
Don
shaw
No.
Margie shaw
Does she have something to do with Megan?
Booth
This is the girl that we found in the maze.
Brennan's phone rings.
Don
shaw
Definitely not Megan.
Margie
begins to cry.
Brennan
answers her phone.
Brennan
Yes?
Int.
Medico-legal lab / cam's office
Cam
Dr. Brennan, another mummy has been found at Shoreline Amusement Park.
Brennan
turns and looks at Booth.
Ext.
Shoreline amusement park - night
Brennan and Booth quickly make their way
through the park.
Brennan
Perhaps the fact that Megan Shaw disappeared from here and there's
another mummy here is a
coincidence.
Booth
Fact, Bones, there are no coincidences in a murder investigation.
Booth
flashes his badge to the officer who points them towards the Dungeon of 1000
Corpses.
Brennan
You do know the strict definition of a fact, right? It's not the
same as a funny feeling.
Booth
Just because somebody says they saw a mummy doesn't mean they actually
did.
Booth
and Brennan walk up to a BREATHLESS WOMAN sitting on a gurney accompanied by an
EMT, PETE GELLER.
Breathless Woman
I know what I saw.
Geller
Keep the mask on, please, ma'am.
Brennan
What's wrong with her?
Geller
Anxiety attack. Brought on by this dungeon here. I spend half my time on
these calls.
Brennan
(to the woman)
You know it's not real, right?
You're overreacting to an excessive amount of stimuli.
Geller
Keep the mask in place, ma'am.
Brennan
Plus, you should lose some weight.
Geller
(to Brennan)
Um, ma'am?
Booth
Bones, a little compassion.
Breathless woman
I'm not overreacting. There's a dead body in there!
Geller
A thousand of them, to be exact.
Geller
turns and motions to the sign.
Close on
Sign
that indicates DUNGEON OF A 1000 CORPSES
BACK TO
SCENE
Breathless woman
There's a real one. I'm a nurse, trust me! I know a dead body when I see
one.
Brennan
(to Geller)
Did you see anything?
Geller
Not much time for that. Just went in, got her, got her out.
Booth
leans in, and pulls the oxygen mask away from the woman so she can speak.
Booth
Right. What did you see?
Breathless woman
A corpse. Past the killer clown.
Booth
lets go of the mask, his eyes wide.
Booth
(in a higher pitch than usual)
Clown?
Booth
looks at Geller.
Geller
You okay?
Booth
Yeah.
Booth stands up straighter, his posture
stiff.
Brennan
You sure?
Booth
Sure.
Brennan
Come on.
Brennan
heads to entire the dungeon as Booth points to the breathless woman.
Booth
Clown.
Int.
Dungeon of 1000 corpses - night
The
inside of the dungeon has lights flashing, and a background sound of shrill
screams. Booth walks in and stops when he sees the killer clown. The clown has
wrinkly skin, and long sharp teeth.
Brennan
enters behind him.
Brennan
What's wrong?
Booth
jumps and squeals. He pulls out his phone.
Booth
Um... the phone rang. It's Cam on the phone. It's ringing.
Brennan
Coulrophobia.
Booth
Euh?
Brennan
The fear of clowns. Coulrophobia. May explain why you shot that clown
last year.
Booth
Look, I have no problems with
clowns. I can stand right here. See?
Brennan
Uh-huh...
Booth
answers the call.
Booth
On the phone.
(brings the phone to his ear)
Booth.
Int.
Medico-legal lab / cam's office
Cam is
on the phone with Booth.
Cam
We got an ID on our maze victim off of Angela's sketch.
Booth
Great. Uh, details to follow.
Booth
pulls the phone away from his ear, except Cam continues.
Cam
I think you want to hear this now.
Name's Stella Higgins, fifteen years old, disappeared a year ago today.
Brennan
What's she saying?
While on
the phone, Booth is obviously uncomfortable with the clown. Booth keeps looking
back to it as if expecting it to come alive.
Booth
(to Brennan)
ID and date of disappearance of our maze victim.
Cam
Stella was last seen at Shoreline Amusement Park.
Booth
Wow!
Brennan
What wow?
Booth
More coincidences.
(to Cam)
Uh.. Thanks!
Booth
hangs up the phone.
Booth
(CONT'D)
The maze victim disappeared from here. So we just go right past the
clown. I can walk right past the clown,
like she said. Just right...
Booth
begins to walk past the clown, just as he is facing the clown, the clown begins
to rotate and the clown's arm nearly touches Booth. Booth dodges the clown's
arm as he lets out a scream.
Booth
and Brennan continue through the dungeon.
Brennan
Torture dungeon.
Brennan
imitates the "evil laughter" coming from the speakers.
Booth
Yeah, okay. Clown, scary. Not you.
Booth and
Brennan enter the torture chamber and begin to look through the various dummy
corpses.
Booth
scoffs.
Booth
(CONT'D)
Oh, gee! You're kidding me, right?
Booth points to a mannequin strapped to a
torture chair.
Booth
(CONT'D)
Look at the eye, uh? It's a Ping-Pong ball.
Brennan
walks up to a pile of corpses, and looks at one in particular.
Brennan
Not this one.
Booth
How do you know?
Brennan
Human remains, Booth, it's sort of my speciality. This is a dead person.
End of act I
Act II
Int.
Medico-legal lab / examination area
Zack is
examining the most recent victim when Cam walks across the platform towards
him.
Cam
Okay, the first thing Booth needs to know is if this is Megan Shaw.
Zack
It is not Megan Shaw.
Cam
I agree. It would be impossible to mummify a body like this in just a
little more than a week.
Zack
Dental records do not match.
Zack
begins to examine the victim's hand.
Cam
Lacquer and cedar oil. Looks like the same murderer.
Zack
That's leaping to a conclusion.
Cam
I said looks like, Zack. Looks like is
not leaping.
Zack
Her phalanges, fingers, are broken. Metacarpals... cracked.
Cam
You've seen something like this
before?
Zack
In Iraq, there were some remains. They'd been buried alive.
Cam
This person was buried alive?
Zack
(hesitantly)
I'm not comfortable...
Cam
It looks like this person was
buried alive, correct?
Angela
interrupts them. She puts up a picture of a dark haired girl with a tattoo. She
clips a second picture up underneath it, of a bird tattoo.
Angela
The tattoo on the second victim's shoulder matches that of Judith
Suzanne Evans. Sixteen when she went missing.
Cam
How long ago?
Angela
Two years, almost to the day.
Cam
From?
Angela
Shoreline Amusement Park. She was there with her big sister and a couple
of her friends.
Hodgins
walks in holding a case file.
Hodgins
Skin and hair removed from beneath Stella's fingernails turns out to be
her own. Also, the lacquer used on both
victims is completely generic. It's widely available.
Zack
She pulled out her own hair?
Angela
What makes somebody do that?
Cam
turns around and fiddles with the computer.
Cam
There are small puncture marks, hundreds of them, all over her body.
Like insect bites, but larger.
CLOSE ON
Computer
screen; zoomed onto the victim's skin. Small puncture marks can be seen all
over.
BACK TO
SCENE
Hodgins
In both cases, the lacquer was infused with a number of particulates
including a spore I'm trying to identify.
Cam
addresses Zack.
Cam
Are you ready to admit that it looks like both these girls were killed
and mummified by the same person?
Zack
I'm not prepared to...
Cam/angela/hodgins
... jump to that conclusion?
Zack
nods in agreement.
Ext.
Shoreline amusement park / dungeon of a 1000 corpses - night
Booth
gathered all the employees of the Dungeon and the manager. Among the employees
there's a man wearing the same grim reaper costume from the maze.
Manager
Come on. You expect me to know when one body appeared in
a pile of bodies? That's not
reasonable.
Booth
An actual genuine corpse appears, and you don't notice?
Manager
The place is called Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses.
Booth
Which is why an entire FBI forensics team is sweeping this facility.
The
camera pans over a GOTH GIRL with several piercings named LOLA.
Lola
This hole counts as a facility?
Booth
notices the grim reaper.
Booth
I know you.
GRIM
REAPER
No.
Booth
Yeah. You were at the maze the other night. Same costume.
Grim
reaper
Oh... yeah.
Booth
Yeah. You're just recalling that,
huh? What's your name?
Grim
reaper
Gregg.
Booth
Little hint. FBI asks for your name,
you give the whole name.
Manager
His name's Gregg Liscombe. He's
worked here three years. You're not supposed to wear the costume to other gigs,
dude. Dilutes the
effect.
An FBI
forensic tech arrives.
Forensic tech
All the other bodies are fakes, Agent Booth.
Booth
Okay, we'll just keep the entire fun house as a crime scene.
Forensic tech
Yes, sir.
The FBI
forensic tech leaves.
Manager
In that case, can I send my people home?
BootH
Oh, no, all your people have got to talk to my people.
(to Gregg)
And you're coming with me.
Gregg
Why?
Booth
Two places with dead bodies, and you're standing in the doorway dressed
as the Grim Reaper.
Gregg
It's my job, man. It's not like I adopt the persona.
Lola
Don't say anything without a lawyer, Gregg.
Manager
Tell you what else, Gregg's got the keys to the place.
Lola
Shut up, Dan!
(steps forward)
He's got keys, too and so does cleaning crew and park security.
Booth
Wow, how about you? You got keys?
Lola
I got nothing else to say without a laywer present.
Booth
Okay, that's great, pincushion, 'cause you were practically invisible
until now. Now you're bucking as number one suspect.
Lola
rolls her eyes at Booth.
Int.
Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA - day
Cam,
Brennan and Zack are on the platform looking at their latest victim's
photograph. The two mummies are on separate tables on the platform.
Brennan
Judith Evans, age 16, our victim
from the Dungeon of 1,000 Corpses.
Zack
explains his findings with the help of x-rays.
Zack
I've identified stress fractures to both tibias, as well as tears to the
medial collateral and anterior cruciate ligaments in both knees.
Brennan
Catcher's knee.
Cam
There's nothing in the bio about Judith Evans being a baseball player.
Zack
Compressions to vertebrae C1 through C7 indicate that her neck was bent
like this.
Zack
demonstrates by showing how her neck must have been bent.
Brennan
But forced.
Cam
I am not liking the picture that's forming inside my head. Phalanges cracked, and her fingernails
shredded, her head forced that way, her knees jammed up against her chest. Do
we think Judith Evans was buried alive?
Hodgins
enters the platform.
Hodgins
I... uh... I have... another bad image of how Stella Higgins died.
Brennan
Spiders?
Hodgins
Tarantulas, to be specific.
Cam
Poisonous spiders?
Hodgins
places a slide under a microscope and brings it up on the computer monitor as
he explains.
Hodgins
That's a common misconception, though the lack of poison doesn't make
the bite any less painful. This is an urticating hair from the Theraphosinae
family.
Zack
It appears to be barbed.
Hodgins
Yeah. It's very irritating. Hey, little-known fact: tarantula hair was
the main ingredient in itching powder for decades.
Zack
Is there any correlation between these hairs and the fact that Stella
Higgins scratched herself so badly, and pulled out her own hair?
Cam
She's bitten all over. There had to be dozens of tarantulas on her so,
yeah, there's a correlation.
Hodgins
I was operating under the assumption that the mysterious spore was
transported by the tarantula, but I was wrong.
Brennan
How do you know?
Hodgins
Because there's no tarantula hairs on Judith Evans, but plenty of the
spores and particulates. She has
carcinogenic dibenzopyrene isomers, asbestos, polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons,
manganese and barium and steel dust.
Cam
Which adds up to?
Zack
Internal combustion engines.
Hodgins
Traffic, except for the steel dust. I have no clue about the steel dust.
Cam
walks over to the computer while discussing about the tox screens, and brings
up both tox screens on the computer monitor for comparison.
Cam
Well, Stella's tox results show chloroform, ephedrine, theophylline, clonydine and methamphetamine.
Close on
Computer
screen with the victims tox screens.
BACK TO
SCENE
CAM
(CONT'D)
Judith's remains show trace
evidences of the same compounds, but in different concentrations.
Brennan
Ephedrine is synthetic adrenaline.
HODGINS
Most of those are heavy stimulants.
ZACK
Their metabolisms would race.
Heart rates would accelerate dangerously.
CAM
Spiders, live burial, drug-induced panic... is our murderer literally
scaring girls to death?
INT. FBI
BUREAU / BOOTH'S OFFICE
Booth is talking with a young woman. SANDY
EVANS, Judith's sister.
Sandy
I always felt, somehow, that Judy was still alive, even after two years.
It's crazy, huh? Probably guilt, right? For letting my little sister out of my sight?
Booth
Look, you can't blame yourself.
Sandy
Did my sister suffer?
Booth
remains silent, not answering the question.
Booth
You know, we got the best people in the world figuring out exactly what
happened that night.
Booth
circles his desk, and takes a seat behind it. He goes through the case file.
Booth
(CONT'D)
So, you and your sister went to the amusement park together?
Sandy
It's kind of the thing to do on Halloween. My mom made me take
her. I didn't want to. I mean, I
loved Judy...
Booth
But she was your kid
sister, pain in the ass.
Sandy
She made me take Judy, even though I didn't want to, and Mom never got
over that.
Booth
How did you and Judy get separated?
Sandy
Judy got scared. She didn't want to go in the fun house.
Booth
Why?
Sandy
There was this huge monster above the door. Judy freaked. She said go ahead, she'd wait outside. Judy
was claustrophobic.
Booth
How bad?
Sandy
Pretty bad. She wigged out when we were driving down. There were six of
us jammed in a car. We had to stop and let her out a couple times.
Booth
Do you remember if there was a Grim Reaper that night at the entrance?
Sandy
Yeah, there was.
Booth
walks around his desk, sits next to Sandy and shows her Gregg's photo.
Booth
Could that be him?
Sandy
takes the photo of Gregg.
Sandy
Yeah. When we came out looking for Judy, he told us she had taken off
with some guy.
Booth
The police could never confirm that.
Int. Fbi
bureau / interROGATION ROOM
Booth
slams a mugshot of Gregg down on the interrogation table.
BOOTH
Registered sex offender. He
was present at two places where the remains of young girls were found.
Booth
and Brennan are questioning Gregg.
Gregg
Coincidence.
Brennan
Statistically improbable.
Booth
Scientifically improbable but, in the real world, impossible.
Brennan
Do you recognize these two girls?
Brennan
places two photographs, one of Judith Evans, and one of Stella Higgins on the
table infront of Gregg.
Gregg
Man, every girl that comes in there talks to me. I don't
remember them.
Brennan
Why does every girl talk to you?
Gregg
Cause I'm cute, scary.
Booth
Yeah, you do pretty well with the teenage girls, don't you, Gregory? You
get them all tingly?
Gregg
All right, that sex offender thing? It's a joke, man. Look it up. I got
drunk, and I took a
leak in a public fountain.
Brennan
Yeah, we did look it up. There was a group of school girls on the other
side of that fountain.
Booth
Four times, you've been caught with your pants down, all around teenage
girls. Coincidence?
(points to Judith Evans photograph)
Two years ago, you told this girl's sister that she took off with some
guy.
Brennan
Do you remember her?
Gregg
Yeah, sure. It's the girl that disappeared.
Booth
The thing about you guys, you're all the same. You sniff each other out.
Who was the guy?
Gregg
doesn't say anything.
Brennan
Judith Evans disappeared October 24th, two years ago. Stella Higgins,
one year ago, a week before Halloween.
Gregg
So?
Brennan
adds a third photo, Megan Shaw.
Brennan
So, Megan Shaw vanished from the same place.
Booth
You can see the common element here, can't you, Gregg? You.
Gregg
Coincidence.
Brennan
There are no coincidences in a murder investigation.
Gregg
Well, it's got nothing to do with me.
Booth
slaps Gregg up the side of the head.
Gregg
(CONT'D)
Ow! Geez, you can't... Did you see that?
Brennan
doesn't stop Booth from slapping Gregg upside the head again. Booth grabs Gregg
by the shoulder and forces him to look at the photographs.
Booth
Hey! Megan Shaw was 14 years old.
Understand me? Who was the guy?
Brennan
looks at Booth, then slaps Gregg.
Booth
(CONT'D)
Good shot, Bones.
Brennan
(smils)
Thanks.
Gregg
There was no guy! It was Lola.
Booth
Lola? The girl with the piercings?
Gregg
Yeah.
Booth
What the hell were you doing with
her?
Gregg
It's not what you think. The girls come with me, maybe we get it on a
little. Lola likes that.
Brennan
Your girlfriend likes to see you with little girls?
Gregg
She likes to interrupt. You know, maybe smack them around a little.
Booth
Smack around?
Gregg
Yeah. It gets Lola hot, for us, for later. Sometimes, maybe
she goes a little too far.
Booth
and Brennan exchange a look.
End of act II
Act III
Int.
Medico-legal lab / angelA'S OFFICE
Angela
and Hodgins follow Amber Kippler into Angela's office.
HODGINS
How did you get to and from a remote, nameless Florida key so fast?
AMBER
It does have a name. Its name is No Name Key. Your confusion is natural.
Amber
takes a seat on one of the couch. Hodgins and Angela sit opposite of her.
ANGELA
Uh, did you talk to my husband?
AMBER
Mr. Barasa was very pleasant, very pleasant. I mean, wow! He smelled
exactly like a fresh wind just after a summer storm.
HODGINS
You smelled him?
AMBER
Part of the private investigator credo, Dr. Hodgins, insure that the
client, that's you.
Amber
looks to Angela.
Angela
... and him.
Angela
motions to Hodgins.
HODGINS
I'm paying.
AMBER
The credo says make sure the client is committed to their objective at
each step, ergo, fresh wind after summer storm reminder.
ANGELA
Despite the storm, I want a divorce.
AMBER
In that case, the news is disappointing.
Mr. Barasa was nice, but adamant, no divorce.
HODGINS
Was it because he doesn't remember getting married?
AMBER
Mr. Barasa totally remembers everything.
He built this for you.
Amber
pulls a folder out of her briefcase, and hands Angela a photograph.
Amber
(CONT'D)
A house.
Hodgins
looks from Amber to Angela. He leans back and looks at the photograph.
HODGINS
A shack!
AMBER
A whimsical cottage.
ANGELA
It's darling. He built a house? For me?
HODGINS
Okay, let's be honest. It's a shanty.
AMBER
Here's what Mr. Barasa said 100% verbatim, word for word.
HODGINS
Verbatim means word for word.
AMBER
What?
HODGINS
You sort of said it twice.
ANGELA
Hodgins.
AMBER
I quote literally to the letter, Ever has it been that love does not
know its own depth until the pain of separation?
HODGINS
Wow. The guy writes poetry.
ANGELA
(rolls her eyes)
Please.
AMBER
He was talking about you, Ms. Montenegro, with tears in his eyes.
ANGELA
He should get a grip.
Amber
picks up her things, and stands up.
AMBER
What would you like me to do next?
HODGINS
What are you gonna do here, Ange?
This guy built you a house. He cried a little bit.
AMBER
He smelled like a fresh wind after a summer storm, and you can
practically see the lights of Havana from the porch of that cottage.
Angela
stands up and crosses her arms.
ANGELA
I want a divorce. If I'm gonna shack up with anybody, it's this guy.
Hodgins
stands up, and surpresses a smile. He looks to Amber.
HODGINS
We're gonna discuss this between ourselves, Miss Kippler. I'll let you
know how we want to proceed.
AMBER
Okay.
Amber
begins to leave, but turns around before exiting.
AMBER
(CONT'D)
Did I mention he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen? Don't blame me. PI code:
Keep it real.
Amber
leaves, and Hodgins scoffs.
Int. Fbi
bureau
Booth
and Brennan exit Booth's office, and walk past several desks.
BOOTH
That girl Lola gets off on inflicting pain.
BRENNAN
Were you gonna hit her, too?
BOOTH
No, not with a closed fist.
BRENNAN
Why?
BOOTH
Why? That leaves a mark.
A SHORT
STUBBY MAN walks up to Booth and Brennan.
BURNS
Agent Booth.
BOOTH
Yeah?
BURNs
Spoke with the Shaws. Asked if their daughter had any specific phobias.
BOOTH
Yeah?
BURNS
Snakes.
BOOTH
Snakes.
BURNS
One crawled up out of the drain of her bathtub when she was a child. So
since then...
BOOTH
Okay, that's good. Just call all the pet shops, the reptile
specialists... I don't know, the World of Snakes, and see who's been buying 'em
all up.
Burns
stops walking, and then goes back on his tracks to do what Booth instructed him
to.
Booth
and Brennan head towards the elevators.
BRENNAN
Does Lola strike you as a snake person?
BOOTH
Look, I'll deal with Lola. You go back to the lab.
BRENNAN
Why?
(presses the elevator button)
I won't hit her unless you say so.
Booth
and Brennan walk into the elevator.
BOOTH
Look, I'll do my street thing, you do your lab thing, all right?
(presses the button)
Together, we catch bad guys. That's good math.
Booth
sighs. Brennan gives Booth a sideways glance as the doors shut.
Int.
Medico-legal lab / EXAMINATION AREA
Hodgins,
dressed as the Captain of the Titanic, looks through a microscope. Cam, dressed
as Catwoman, peers over his shoulder.
CAM
The lacquer holds tarantula hairs, your mystery spores and particulates,
which suggests heavy traffic.
HODGINS
I'm aware of the parameters. I told you all that stuff.
CAM
I'm thinking aloud. It's a technique.
Brennan
walks up to them. She isn't dressed in her costume yet.
BRENNAN
Are you concentrating on the spores?
Hodgins
looks through his scope, slowly getting annoyed.
HODGINS
Yes, I'm looking at them now.
CAM
He's aware of the parameters.
BRENNAN
And the unexplained source of the steel dust?
Hodgins
pries himself away from the scope.
HODGINS
What I'd like is to look up from this microscope in about... hm... ten
seconds and find myself totally alone and able to concentrate.
Cam and
Brennan take a couple of steps away from him, and patiently wait.
Hodgins
resumes his examination through the scope.
HODGINS (CONT'D)
Oh, not nearly far enough. Not even close.
Brennan
and Cam move to the far end of the platform. Brennan looks at Cam.
BRENNAN
Is that your costume?
CAM
Uh, yeah.
BRENNAN
It's sexually alluring.
CAM
Thank you. I'm Catwoman.
Brennan
looks at her blankly.
Cam
(CONT'D)
... the superhero.
BRENNAN
Oh!
CAM
One of the most powerful female superhero figures.
BRENNAN
(scoffs)
I don't think so.
CAM
Are you kidding? Catwoman?
BRENNAN
Can you fly?
CAM
I have nine lives.
BRENNAN
Super strength, super speed, force people to tell the truth?
CAM
I think I'm pretty fast.
BRENNAN
Pretty fast is not super speed.
Hodgins
walks up to them and rips off his gloves, in doing so interrupts their argument
by catching their attention.
HODGINS
Hawaii.
CAM
Hawaii?
HODGINS
The spore is Atronecium from the Haleahi Nebulae. It's a Hawaiian orchid
hybrid.
BRENNAN
The victims were mummified in Hawaii?
HODGINS
How else would Hawaiian pollen get absorbed into the wet lacquer?
Cam
nods.
Int. Shoreline
amusement park / DUNGEON OF 1000 CORPSES - night
CLOSE ON
Sign :
Dungeon of a 1000 Corpses
BACK TO
SCENE
Booth
walks up to Lola.
Lola is
fixing a display.
BOOTH
Lola. Remember me?
Booth
flashes his badge.
LOLA
Not one word passes through these lips without a lawyer's okay.
BOOTH
Right, and if you can't afford one, which is my guess, one will be
provided. Probably a crappy one who studied law on the Internet.
LOLA
What do you want?
BOOTH
You attacked both of those two dead girls.
LOLA
Oh... Did Gregg tell you that?
BOOTH
Yeah, and this one, too.
Booth
pulls a photo of Megan from his pocket and shows it to Lola.
LOLA
I didn't kill anyone.
BOOTH
That's right. It was Gregg who forced you to do that. You know what? If
you don't tell me what I need to know in two seconds, I'm gonna start removing
your piercings and I'm not gonna start with the ones on your face.
LOLA
Look, I roughed 'em up, all right?
BOOTH
Oh?
LOLA
That's it! I was gone. I was out of there, man! Why do you think I'm
never charged?
Booth
begins to handcuff Lola.
BOOTH
Yeah, okay.
LOLA
I'm gone, man!
BOOTH
Just remember, Maryland and Virginia both have the death penalties. Keep
that in mind before we find Megan's body.
Let's go.
LOLA
These are really tight, man!
Booth
escorts Lola out of the Dungeon.
Ext.
Washington - night
Brennan (V.o.)
Don't you have to put on your costume?
Booth
(v.o.)
I already did.
Int.
Medico-legal lab - night
Booth
holds up a case folder.
Booth
I got of the killer from Sweets.
Booth is
dressed up as a nerd squint. He wears a clean buttoned up shirt, with a
Jeffersonian labcoat over top. He has dark thick rimmed glasses with white tape
in the middle.
BRENNAN (o.s.)
You mean Dr. Sweets.
ZOOM OUT
Booth's
complete assemble is finished off by the beige pants that are way to short for
him and the ginormous calculator tucked into his belt.
BOOTH
Well, it's only theory, Bones. I mean, it's what he's best at. I mean,
he's only twelve. Sweets says the killer is definitely a male.
BRENNAN (o.s.)
Gregg is a male.
BOOTH
No, Gregg and Lola work their
sick little thing together.
(reads the file)
Sweets says that the killer works alone and has a respectable
blue-collar job. In his public life, he's into saving people, he's
unmarried. Oh, he has a police or
military background.
Brennan
steps out dressed as Wonder Woman.
BRENNAN
You do realize that Sweets is describing you, right?
Booth
turns around and sees Brennan.
BOOTH
Wow!
BRENNAN
How do I look?
BOOTH
Good. Wonder-ful. Get it?
BRENNAN
Yeah.
BOOTH
'Cause you're Wonder Woman.
BRENNAN
I know. What are you supposed to be?
BOOTH
Oh, I'm a nerd squint.
Booth
leans over, and pushes his glasses up. He pulls out his big calculator and
pushes a few buttons.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
(nasal voice)
You see, what is the rationale behind that conclusion?
Brennan heads towards the platform. Booth
follows.
BRENNAN
That's not what they look or sound like.
BOOTH
(nasal voice)
You mean "we." That's not what 'we' look or sound like.
BRENNAN
Okay.
BOOTH
You see what I did right there? I corrected you, you know, in
character...
(laughs)
... as a squint!
Brennan
and Booth meet up with Zack. Zack is dressed up as the back end of a cow.
ZACK
Angela and Hodgins have a few things to show us before we go to the
party.
Zack
stares at Booth.
BOOTH
What?
Zack
doesn't answer Booth. Brennan and Zack turn and enter Angela's office.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
What?
Int.
Medico-legal lab / angela's office / imaging unit - continUOUS
CLOSE ON
The
monitor indicates a location marked by a star.
Angela (v.o.)
This marks the location of Shoreline
Amusement Park.
Blinking
yellow triangles appear on the map
ANGELA (CONT'D)
These are the locations of three pet shops the FBI says sold out of
snakes in the last week.
Angela
is dressed up as Cher with a large shimmering, feathery, black headgear. She's
clad in skimpy black outfit. She explains her findings to Cam, Zack, Brennan
and Booth. Booth plays with his calculator as he listens.
BRENNAN
How many snakes in total?
ANGELA
Over a hundred.
CAM
Let me guess, they all paid cash?
ANGELA
Yep.
Cam
removes her Catwoman mask.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
And the last place sold out about an hour ago.
BOOTH
Whoa. An hour ago?
Booth
takes off his glasses.
BRENNAN
Booth, Megan Shaw is still alive!
BOOTH
Wait a second. Both Gregg Liscombe and Lola are in custody. Sweets was right. They didn't do it.
Cam
shouts out the door.
CAM
Hodgins!
(to the others) )
Hodgins has been isolating locations where the dead girls could have
been exposed to the metal particulates he found in the lacquer.
BOOTH
Okay, how many?
CAM
One hundred and twenty-six, not including Hawaii.
BOOTH
(shaking his head)
No, one hundred and twenty six, that's not good enough.
Hodgins
walks into Angela's office.
BRENNAN
Megan Shaw's still alive.
HODGINS
What do you want me to do?
ZACK
He wants us to guess.
HODGINS
Well, my guess is
Hawaii.
Cam
shakes her head.
CAM
Not Hawaii.
Booth
steps up to Hosgins
BOOTH
Well guess again, but better.
HODGINS
No, sorry.
ANGELA
Booth, they don't guess.
BOOTH
(turns to Angela)
Who's they?
Cam and
Angela both point to Zack, Brennan and Hodgins.
cam / angela
Them!
BOOTH
Well, that's just stupid.
ZACK
We do not guess.
BOOTH
You know what? You're a horse's
ass.
ZACK
Cow. I'm a cow. See my udder.
BRENNAN
I need Zack and Hodgins. The rest of you can go to the party.
BOOTH
How can we go to a party when a 14-year-old girl's being tortured to
death by snakes?
BRENNAN
People like us can't work at full capacity with people like you
constantly interrupting with irrelevancies.
HODGINS
(softly)
It's true.
(to Angela) )
I love you, but it's true.
Angela
nods.
CAM
Okay, we're out of here.
ANGELA
This is my office.
CAM
Let's go, Cher.
Cam
looks at Angela as she heads for the door.
BOOTH
Okay, well, I'll tell you what. I'll just sit right over here in this
chair and I'll wait.
Booth
sits in a nearby chair. He crosses his arms over his chest.
BRENNAN
Booth, no!
Brennan
rests her hands on her hips.
BOOTH
Fine.
(stands up) )
I'll wait outside, okay? With
this chair.
(grabs up the chair) )
I'll be outside with this
chair.
Booth
walks out of the office with his chair.
Once
everyone left the room, Hodgins turns to face the others.
Booth
sits outside the office door. He faces
them, intending to wait.
Zack is
at the computer while Hodgins and Brennan watch over his shoulder.
ZACK
I'm worried that Naomi from Paleontology will feel strange being only
the front half of a cow.
HODGINS
She got the good end of that deal.
Hodgins
takes off his captain hat, as he sets himself infront of a computer.
BRENNAN
Who's stronger, Catwoman or Wonder Woman?
Hodgins / zack
Wonder Woman.
BRENNAN
I concur vehemently.
HODGINS
All right, now, ignoring the Hawaiian pollen, these 126 sites represent
loci where the necessary concentrations of particulates can be found:
underground garages, tunnels, etc.
BRENNAN
Dr. Sweets says we can assume that the murderer works for a living.
HODGINS
You want us to go on psychology?
BRENNAN
Let's assume the killer has to get back and forth from his...
ZACK
In comic books, it's always called a lair.
BRENNAN
... from his lair in time for his job, sometimes during high traffic
hours. Can you remove the sites which make that improbable?
ZACK
Assuming he needs to sleep.
HODGINS
Say, six hours a night.
BRENNAN
Twelve-hour shift.
ZACK
Leaving six hours for travel and torture.
HODGINS
At a maximum of two hours travel time. So, what, remove everything more
than a hundred miles away?
ZACK
Too simplistic. If it's on a highway, it could be up to 120 miles away.
Secondary roads, taking traffic patterns into account, less than 50. Depending
on the time of day and weather conditions...
BRENNAN
It'll go faster if you do the calculations in your head, Zack, and don't
explain it to us.
ZACK
Thank you.
Zack
begins to mentally calculate the possibilities. He works on the computer, and
then it beeps. He's narrowed it down.
HODGINS
How many does that leave?
ZACK
Thirty-one.
HODGINS
No. No way the police can hit all those, not spread thin on Halloween.
BRENNAN
We can narrow it down further. Factor, mummification.
ZACK
Yes, particulates plus mummification requires...
BRENNAN
A steady, continuous supply of dry air.
HODGINS
A large oven with blowers.
BRENNAN
I'd like to assume that the automotive particulates arrived with the
blowing air.
HODGINS
Heated underground parking lots.
ZACK
How is that not guessing?
BRENNAN
Einstein referred to such assumptions as acceptable "intuitive
leaps."
ZACK
I acknowledge Einstein as a scientific authority.
Zack
turns back to the computer to continue his calculations and to factor in the
new particulates. Hodgins watches him work.
ZACK (CONT'd)
(sighs)
But he failed us this time.
BRENNAN
The answer is in the anomalies.
HODGINS
(mutters)
The Hawaiian spore.
BRENNAN
And steel dust. What makes it?
HODGINS
Grinding, drilling, abrading.
ZACK
Scraping, milling.
HODGINS
Train wheels.
Hodgins
looks at Zack and Brennan.
Hodgins (CONT'D)
Okay, intuitive leap. When a train turns, it grinds the rails, creates a
steel dust.
BRENNAN
Subways which also provide warm, dry air. They're vented. Okay. What we need now are florists who carry
Hodgins' Hawaiian flower which are situated directly over subway tracks.
Brennan
turns to leave.
HODGINS
Wow.
Hodgins
turns to watch Zack, notices Brennan leaving.
HODGINS (CONT'D)
(to Brennan)
Hey, where you going?
BRENNAN
To get Booth. Call me when you
find the florist.
Brennan
leaves. Hodgins turns to exchange looks with Zack.
End of act III
Act IV
EXT.
STREET STOCK – NIGHT
Booth's
SUV.
BOOTH
(v.o.)
You're sure about this?
INT.
BOOTH'S SUV - NIGHT
Booth is
driving.
BRENNAN
Not at all.
BOOTH
Because you guessed.
BRENNAN
But we do not guess.
BOOTH
I think you did. I dare you to put that lasso of truth around you.
BRENNAN
Now you're being completely irrational. This lasso doesn't actually
work. These bracelets aren't actually
made of Amazonium. They're stainless steel. They can't stop a bullet.
Brennan's phone rings.
BOOTH
Oh-kay.
She
answers it on speakerphone.
BRENNAN
Brennan.
CAM
(o.s.)
Aloha Floral Supply between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
INT.
MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / ANGELA'S OFFICE
Angela grabs
the phone from Cam.
ANGELA
The store sits right over the Red Line.
BRENNAN
Thank you.
She hangs
up. Booth is on the radio frequency
walkie talkie.
BOOTH
Dispatch, 22-7-0-5.
DISPATCH (MAN)
Twenty-two 7-0-5, Dispatch.
BOOTH
Twenty-two 7-0-5 requests backup and local units at Aloha Flowers
between Friendship Heights and Bethesda.
Brennan
tugs on his shirt.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
Oh. Please be advised that agents
are UC dressed as a
Squint and Wonder Woman.
DISPATCH (MAN)
Repeat, 22705.
BOOTH
Just picture a scientist nerd brainiac dweeb, dork, whatever.
BRENNAN
And Wonder Woman.
BOOTH
And Wonder Woman.
DISPATCH (MAN)
Acknowledge, 227-11.
EXT.
ROAD – NIGHT
Booth's
SUV.
EXT.
ALOHA FLORAL SUPPLY – NIGHT
BOOTH
(v.o.)
(groans) )
Aahh. It's closed.
Booth
pulls the SUV up to the front, and parks it. Booth and Brennan exit the SUV.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
Go around the back.
They go
around the side of the building, and stop at a padlocked vent.
BRENNAN
Dry air.
BOOTH
Subway. Florist. Okay, stand back.
Brennan
steps back, as Booth shoots the lock.
INT.
BASEMENT – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Booth
and Brennan climb down the ladder into the basement. They look around and come
to gate padlocked shut with a gain.
Brennan cocks her big gun.
BOOTH
Okay, where did you even find a place to carry that?
She
pushes him toward the padlocked and chained wire gate door.
BRENNAN
Look, could I please shoot this one?
Booth
tugs on the chain and the padlock falls off.
He opens the gate. They both
enter the subway access area. Booth leads. Brennan follows. A train passes near them. Brennan notices an
open door off to the side.
BRENNAN (CONT'D)
Booth?
Brennan
walks up the short stairs and enters the room.
INT.
SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / TORTURE ROOM
Inside
the room Booth and Brennan come across a worktable, several empty vials and
syringes. Brennan smells the table.
BRENNAN
Cedar oil, lacquer. This is where
the killer mummified the bodies.
Booth
looks at the empty vials on the floor.
BOOTH
Ephedrine, other... other drugs.
Booth
realizes who the murder is.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
I know who the murderer is.
BRENNAN
Who?
Booth hears footsteps and looks
up.
BOOTH
Let's get out of here.
Booth
rushes out of the room. Brennan follows.
INT.
SUBWAY ACCESS AREA – NIGHT
BOOTH
Lola beats up the girls, leaves them bleeding. Who shows up to help? Access to drugs.
BRENNAN
The EMT. Smart. You should wear a lab coat at all times.
BOOTH
Puts them in the back of his ambulance, he knocks them unconscious.
A girl's
scream can be heard.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
Just stay there.
Booth
reaches for the padlock on the door. It's locked. The girl screams again.
BOOTH (CONT'D)
Screams are coming from inside.
BRENNAN
Can I shoot it?
BOOTH
No!
Brennan
fires at the padlock! The bullet bounces
off the lock and hits Booth. He yells, hoping up and down as he clutches his
leg.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
Yow! Geez!
BRENNAN
Oh! Sorry! Sorry, Booth!
BOOTH
You shot me! Damn it! I said no!
Don't shoot! No!
BRENNAN
Are you all right? I think the bullet bounced off my bracelet. Just like Amazonium.
BOOTH
Geez, Bones.
Booth clutches his leg. Brennan
takes the padlock off and opens the door.
The floor is littered with snakes . Brennan screams as she jumps up on
the nearby box.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
What are you doing? They're not
poisonous.
BRENNAN
I know. I know.
BOOTH
Then why don't you come down?
BRENNAN
It seems I'm not completely in control of my actions.
Booth
turns and offers his back to her.
BOOTH
Just get on my back.
Brennan
climbs onto his back. Piggy back style.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
(groans)
Ooh! God, Bones.
Booth,
with Brennan on his back, enters the room.
INT.
SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / SNAKE ROOM - NIGHT
BOOTH
Ow.
Megan
Shaw is in a far corner, attempting to stay away from the snakes. She's terrified.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
Megan?
BRENNAN
It's okay.
BOOTH
Can you understand me?
Booth
and Brennan approach Megan. Megan looks up and screams. Brennan glances over
her shoulders and sees a KILLER CLOWN in the doorway. He cocks his shotgun.
Brennan raises her gun and shoots. The shot hits the door as clown ducks back
from the doorway. The backfire causes Booth to drop Brennan. Brennan falls back
and hits her head against the wall.
BRENNAN
Ugh! My head.
BOOTH
Just stop shooting at things, Bones.
Booth
heads out of the room to chase after the clown.
BRENNAN
But, he had a gun!
BOOTH
You stay here. Anyone comes through that door, you shoot their heads
off—except me.
Brennan
lifts her gun up towards Booth.
BRENNAN
My gun is too big for me.
BOOTH
I could've told you that a hundred times. Here, take mine.
Booth
exchanges guns with Brennan.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
Guard Megan.
Booth
heads towards the exit, his gun raised. Brennan reaches out towards Megan.
BRENNAN
Come on, Megan. Come here.
Megan
and Brennan huddle in the corner.
INT.
SUBWAY ACCESS AREA / NIGHT
Booth
carefully and slowly leaves the room. Booth walks away from the room, searching
for the killer clown. Both travels along the wall, his back to it, and his gun
raised. Booth stops and hears the clown jump down from above. The clown cocks
his gun. Booth turns around. The clown
fires, misses , hitting the concrete near Booth. Booth ducks and fires.
Inside
the room, the shots can be heard. Megan
whimpers.
BRENNAN
It's okay.
Booth
turns and leans against the wall. Booth
reaches for and holds his waist. The killer clown rushes forward.
BOOTH
Damn it.
Booth
checks his side and he's been hit and is bleeding. The clown looks around the
corner. Booth sees him and fires. Booth moves. The killer clown steps out and
fires at Booth. The clown takes his mask
off, the killer clown is EMT Pete Geller.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
How could a guy with military training miss with a scattergun? What were you, Navy?
Geller
removes the shells from his shotgun.
GELLER
Infantry.
Geller
drops the shells on the floor as he reloads his gun. Inside the room, Megan
whimpers. Brennan silences her.
BRENNAN
Okay.
GELLER
Which is how I know you're carrying the 50-caliber 500. Well, that's five shots.
(cocks his gun.)
And by my count...
(snaps the gun.)
... you only got one shot left.
Geller
steps out and fires.
Booth
checks his gun and groans.
GELLER (CONT'D)
That's one dumbass gun to bring to a shootout!
(taunts) )
Where's your backup, Booth?
Shouldn't they be here by now?
Inside
the room, Brennan tries to get Megan to remain silence.
BRENNAN
You need to be quiet. Can you do that, Megan?
Megan nods. Brennan stands up.
Megan and Brennan make their way towards the door.
Outside,
Geller hears Megan whimpering. Geller turns his head toward the snake room.
Brennan
and Megan reach the door just as Geller turns and fires at the door. His shots hit the door. Brennan and Megan
scream.
BOOTH
Bones, you all right?
BRENNAN
We're okay. We're okay. He's using you to
get to us.
GELLER
Not for long, Booth. I'm just gonna stick my scattergun in there and
empty the barrels.
Booth
picks up an access panel and uses it as a shield as he makes his way back to
the snake room.
GELLER (CONT'D)
Your girl is gonna look like hamburger.
Geller turns around and fires at Booth, his
shots hit the access panel. Booth falls back as he drops the panel. Geller
ducks behind the open snake room's door. Booth gets uo. Booth cocks his gun and
aims for Geller
BOOTH
One shot.
Booth
fires. The shot went right through the metal door and hit Geller. Geller
grunts. Geller falls to the floor with a loud thud.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
One hell of a shot.
Brennan
and Megan finally exit the room. Brennan
points her gun on Geller's motionless body.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
Now can you see why I hate clowns?
EXT.
WASHINGTON – NIGHT
EXT.
JEFFERSONIAN – NIGHT
INT.
MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY - NIGHT
Angela
meets up with Amber Kippler.
ANGELA
Ms. Kippler.
AMBER
Wow. Ms. Montenegro, you look
amazing. Halloween, right?
ANGELA
Look, Hodgins and I haven't really decided what we're gonna do next.
AMBER
I tried to seduce him, you know.
ANGELA
Hodgins?
AMBER
Ew. No. Your husband. I took off
my top and everything.
ANGELA
Why?
AMBER
I've been told I have alabaster skin that's really impossible to resist
touching.
ANGELA
Isn't that some kind of conflict of
interest? The PI code?
AMBER
On the contrary. I did it totally for you, the client.
ANGELA
Mm-hmm.
AMBER
I was testing your husband with my wiles so that I could properly advise
you.
ANGELA
You are a very dedicated investigator.
AMBER
Which is why I have to tell you something I didn't want to say in front
of Dr. Hodgkins.
ANGELA
Hodgins. There's no k.
AMBER
Your husband is deeply, deeply in love with you. Also, he has incredible abs and
forearms. So what I'm suggesting is that
I take you down there, mediate a meeting, and see if any old sparks don't flare
back into life.
ANGELA
I'm in love with Hodgins.
AMBER
Now.
ANGELA
Forever, Ms. Kippler.
AMBER
Did I mention the little catch in his throat when he said your name?
ANGELA
Look, all I want out of him is a divorce, okay? So if you want to see him again and you want
to rub your alabaster all over him and shake his snow globes, be my guest. All
I want is the divorce.
Angela
begins to leave.
AMBER
I hear you. I believe you. I just wanted to make sure.
ANGELA
And please don't ever say "ew" about Hodgins again.
AMBER
Beards. I don't like beards. Rspecially in conjunction with huge, blue
eyes. Makes me feel like I'm staring into one of those Russian religious icons.
Angela doesn't comment. She turns and
leaves. Amber turns . Hodgins is walking towards her.
AMBER
(CONT'D)
Oh, Dr. Hodgkins.
HODGINS
Hod-gins. Were you just talking to Angela?
AMBER
Yes. I was telling her that her husband is extremely physically
attractive.
HODGINS
Okay. Enough with that now. Quit trying to drive a wedge.
AMBER
It's a fact. On a scale of one to ten, he's ten to the tenth power.
HODGINS
What am I?
AMBER
You're a solid 7.5, which is quite respectable.
HODGINS
Your job is to help me and Angela to be together.
AMBER
Dr. Hodgkins, domestic issues make up the core of our business. And I
have to tell you, most of the time they go back.
HODGINS
They go back?
AMBER
They go back to their husbands or their wives most of the time. It's a
fact.
HODGINS
And you think Angela should go back to her husband?
AMBER
I don't have an opinion about should or should not. I'm more interested
in will or won't. But in this case, in
my opinion. I don't think she's going
back to her husband.
HODGINS
Even after you practically threw him at her?
AMBER
Exactly. Aren't you glad I did? Now you can sleep like a baby because of
my thorough approach.
Hodgins
begins to leave. Amber smiles. Hodgins turns back.
HODGINS
Thank you.
AMBER
That's right, "thank you."
Hodgins
and Amber both leave.
INT.
MEDICO-LEGAL LAB / LOBBY – NIGHT
The lab
is dark and empty. The doors open.
Booth
and Brennan walk into the Jeffersonian.
BRENNAN
Where is everybody?
Both
Brennan and Booth look horrible.
BOOTH
At the party, I guess.
BRENNAN
We could still go.
BOOTH
Ah, we look like hell.
BRENNAN
It's a Halloween party. We could be Wonder Woman and, what's Superman's
secret identity?
Booth
pulls his nerdy glasses out of his shirt pocket, and places them on his face.
BOOTH
Clark Kent.
BRENNAN
Yes. We could be Wonder Woman and Clark Kent after a really, really bad
date.
Brennan
takes a seat on the steps.
BOOTH
Yeah, bad date because you shot me.
BRENNAN
It was only a flesh wound. And you dropped me on my head.
BOOTH
After you shot me. Okay, I think I got you on this one. Okay, Wonder
Woman?
Booth
removes his glasses and takes a seat next to Brennan. Booth sighs heavily, and
Brennan looks at him.
BRENNAN
I'm sorry you had to kill someone. I know you hate that.
BOOTH
Yeah, he had it coming.
BRENNAN
You hate it. I'm sorry that happened to you.
BOOTH
We saved the girl. That's a pretty good date.
BRENNAN
Except not really a date.
BOOTH
I know. It was...
BRENNAN
... work. Not a date.
BOOTH
Really, really hard one.
BRENNAN
And we're not really Wonder Woman and Clark Kent. We're Brennan and
Booth.
BOOTH
Look, you're the one who brought up the date analogy.
Brennan
and Booth share a moment of silence.
BRENNAN
You hungry?
Booth
puts on the nerdy glasses again.
BOOTH
Yeah.
BRENNAN
Me, too.
Booth
and Brennan get up. Booth leads, and Brennan lags behind.
BOOTH
Okay, let's go grab a bite to eat.
While
Booth heads towards the door, Brennan stops, and begins to spin around in a
circle with her arms up at her sides. Booth turns around.
BOOTH
(CONT'D)
What the hell are you doing?
Brennan
stops spinning.
BRENNAN
Nothing.
They head out of the Jeffersonian.
End.